But if that’s not your style or comfort level, she suggests saying something a bit less, well, blunt. Try: “Oh, my friend was talking about this experience, https://hookupdate.net/de/lgbt-de/ and she really enjoyed it. It’s something I might like to pursue.” Or: “I saw an article about rimming. What do you think about trying it?” (I mean, it’s the truth. )
If you’re worried about being shot down (totally normal fear!), Kort recommends sharing that fear with your partner and asking them to withhold judgment until after you explain exactly why you’re interested in trying something new.
“I never support a conversation stopping just because one person says that they don’t want to do it,” he explains. Instead, he suggests coming up with a mutually-desirable solution together. You might ask your partner, “How are we going to negotiate this in a way that respects both of our boundaries?”
You can ask them to explain W-H-Y they are not interested. For instance, “I respect your no, but if you’re open to it, I’d love to hear why you’re so against giving it a try.” Or, “Are you comfortable if I ask a follow-up question or two about why?”
For whatever reason, they may not have interest in oral-anal sex
Because anal play of any kind isn’t really taught in sex ed., it’s common for people to be afraid of the unknown, or to have misconceptions about anal play being “dirty” or “painful.” (FTR: Anal sex shouldn’t be painful.)
If your partner is open to it, you could use this as an opportunity to educate them about the true pleasure potential of the peach. Just remember: No means no. So, the goal here is *not* to get your partner to eventually cave in to your desires (rimming), Kort says. “The goal is to allow you to share your sexual interests with your partner.”
If they’re not down with rim jobs, the good news is that there are options! They might be okay with watching an erotic movie that features rimming, for example, or talking through a rimming fantasy together.
Or, maybe they’re down to circle your entrance with a ton of silicone lube and their finger. The sensation is similar to rimming, according to Queen. Or, maybe they’re down to let you explore that interest with someone else. You and your partner should communicate your boundaries to one another.
3. Think about whether or not you want to prep your peach.
Sadly, anal play is still shrouded in a whole lot of myths and misconceptions. The most pervasive one? That anal play will bring you face-to-face with dung.
Here’s the thing: Assuming the receiver didn’t do a half-ass (heh) wipe job, the risk of coming into contact with poop during analingus is small. Poop, after all, isn’t stored in the anal canal-it simply passes from the colon through the anal canal on the way out of your body, explains Queen.
Still, at the end of the day. a butt’s a butt. And considering you’ve probably spent plenty of QT with your own, you know what it does. So if you’re worried about cleanliness or smell, McBride and Kort recommend showering ahead of time. Or to get in the
However you decide to suds up, McBride advises “washing gently with warm water and soap.” She also recommends staying far away from any cleansers that are too astringent. They can make your anus more prone to cracking (think: chapped lips) “because some cleansers can actually draw moisture away from the anus and make the tissue more prone to contracting STIs,” explains McBride.